defeated.

That's exactly how I feel. I know I should be positive and look for the good in the situation but honestly, just the thought of that makes me nauseous. I am deathly terrified of needles. I can start IVs no problem, I can give anyone a shot any day no big deal. But the second you turn it around on me, I freak out. I had gotten better with having an IV and having blood drawn because I've had to have it done so often, but getting a shot is a totally different thing. I'm the kind of person who would rather take antibiotics for three weeks rather than take a shot and be better in 3 days. And now they tell me I'm gonna have to give them to myself. Obviously I'm not coping very well. I have to call my doctor tomorrow and let him know whether I want to do the prefilled syringes or the pens. I've tried to research about the pros and cons and I've talked to my mom about them since she has done both before, but neither one sounds appealing. Both are very painful and uncomfortable, not to mention expensive. I can't help but wonder if there isn't some other option out there. My doctor doesn't seem to think so. Its just absolutely disheartening. I'm trying to be strong, I'm trying to give it to Him. But right now I just want to take some time to be weak, to be upset, to think this really, really sucks. I can be strong tomorrow, maybe.